69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
