the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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