dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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