He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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