I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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