we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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