I must be too annoying 4 u.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
