I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
