You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize