Do you still have your period?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
