I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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