He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
