Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
