What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
