You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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