so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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