I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Your cock deserves a montage
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
