im drinking this country out of the recession.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
