Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
