Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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