The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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