i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
