I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
