? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
