Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
