just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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