Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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