you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I need a beard to bite.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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