just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
