he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
