so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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