I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
