how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
