His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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