yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
