I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
