I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
