another moral hangover. fuck.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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