erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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