She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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