So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
