is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
