Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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