pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
