the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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