so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Let's get the cat blown out
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
