covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
