I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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