:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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