i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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