He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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