dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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