Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
