Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
