I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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