Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
