I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
