in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so let's talk penis.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
