just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
