There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
