Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
