chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
