the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
