She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
