There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
