i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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